Thursday, 21 September 2017

Things you begin to realise once you stop striving for perfection and setting your standards so high


Over the past couple of months I've come to realise, I am a perfectionist in certain aspects of my life. 
Especially when it comes down to the final result. It can be as silly as making a cake (I'm quite partial to making my own birthday cake every year.. yes really) because I have an image in my head so closely Pinterest worthy I can get it. And if that cake doesn't look the way I'm picturing in my head I am not happy. 
That's an example but now I now really want a cake.

I've found that with my blog its editing the pictures to as perfect I can get them (I'm talking lighting, adjustments not face tuning fyi) styling my shoots to as close as the style I had in mind, the poses, the location, then the layout of the post all are really thought through. Honestly I mess about with a post right up until the point of publish- most of the time I do sometimes (through some sort of miracle) manage to schedule -like today hooray. Honestly though I'll never be an organised blogger.

And in my everyday life setting my standards high is also one of my flaws.
I'm not talking relationships or any of that, I mean planning things, creating scenes in my head or scenarios of how I expect something to go then find myself disappointed when met with something so far from my mind.
A lot like the 500 days of summer expectation vs reality scene.
Or the feeling of ordering something online you were really rooting for only for it to turn up and be NOTHING like you were expecting. 

S H O P  T H I S  P O S T 
(or similar)

You could blame the books for expectations, the Tv series's I watch, the films, the things I see around me or simply its just the way i am.
But truth is I started to find being that way wasn't doing me any favours at all.
 Instead it was setting me up for a fall time and time again.

If I'm honest it was never anything I actually realised until this year. I mean I've realised a lot this year. (If you get the option to have a year out at uni or work, take it  you figure SO much out.) 
Its actually something that has continued to keep popping up from time to time. 

Looking back on my 21st birthday I now realise it was one of those situations where I planned it to perfection and set my standards far too high. Don't get me wrong I had the best birthday but I found myself saying well it could have been better. When as a matter of fact I was wrong. Because if I hadn't have planned the night out and had expectations in the first place, I wouldn't have anything to live up to. And ultimately they were the tiniest of things, the details not the real things that actually mattered. For example:

I pictured in my head a busy club; bustling with people 
vs 
Reality: the club was still actually really  
      busy and I was basing the image partly upon my smallish popular local club everyone goes to in my city which is why it fills out and the last time I went to the club we were at was on new years eve so very obviously that is the reason for why it was so busy previously.

It bothered me on the night and it really shouldn't- I'm quite an atmospheric person, if I'm not feeling the atmosphere I'm not feeling any of it. 
And another one of those reasons was the night went extremely fast which is something that was out of my hands. And what a lot of the time these situations come down to, and blares out the message you can't dwell on something that can't be helped. Which is too where I find myself going wrong.

When I look back on this now it wasn't bad at all removing the details, the kinks in the mix. It was an excellent birthday surrounded by the people I love and if anything thinking the way I did just made me look ungrateful. 

 I romanticise situations you see.

 That I guess I get from the movies but I also think it comes from the want for perfection continuously. And the need to please; whether that be either for myself or other people. 
I think that also comes from being a cancarian, a carer with other peoples best interests at heart.

And as soon as a there is a flaw in my plans, I find it hard to deal with. Call me crazy.
But I do.
I'll take it out on the people around me and blame myself for ultimately being me.

And I realised it has to stop, or at least calm down. Which let me say for someone who over thinks situations to the extreme was hard to do and you know what I began to realise? 


I felt less added pressure to fulfil the image in my head

Instead I now try and ride with things. Something hasn't worked out- try something else. There are other ways. You CAN have more than one image or result in your mind. And whatever turns out to be that end result is that, of course you can tweak here and there but most importantly don't get caught up on it. 

Its also made me 

Less Picky

That what you can see right there, that that bothers you so much, yeah that. No one else can see it. That is until you point it out. Obviously if you are a sufferer of OCD this is completely different. And still now if I see something that bothers me so much I have to do something about it, I do. But if I can afford to let it slide, I do too. 

And from time to time it does make me be a bit 

More Experimental

Those standards can often be very boxed shaped. And once your box stops working you have to start thinking outside of it. You start thinking of a different way something can be done. Or again you just go with it, you forget the box all together and pack it away. Because eventually you will reach a result you are happy with whether you went the right way to get there or not. Or if it is a situation or scenario think of the things best you can take from it- because there definitely was some I gaurentee. 


Eventually, and this is something that I'm not expecting to happen straight away or become permanent in anyway. I think if you are a perfectionist you always will be in one way or another which IS actually sometimes a good factor, it show you are passionate and care about something. But I have tried to bring my standards down slightly lower. Which means low standards = higher and more satisfying outcomes. Has a mate ever convinced you to go do something you really didn't want to do? You couldn't picture anything worse when as a matter of fact it turns out to be one of the best experiences or memories you have. They said the best times are the unplanned ones. So much like that. 

With that in mind I did this set of photos on a complete whim. I had the idea in mind for a while, I've also come to realise I'm quite the location scout. But it was very loosely in my mind more a option rather than a definite situation. Then after I was sent this Slogan Print T-shirt* from Romwe I thought I can imagine that working well. 
The weather has been awful in the UK just recently hasn't it?? - its rained every day I've been back from Reading. So being under shelter worked out even better. (it was raining whilst we took these hence my hair being a tad wet)
I've wanted to do a nighttime shoot for a while but I've never thought I had the ability to make the camera work in my favour- I mean I say night time shoot it was essentially well lit but I didn't have my standards set very high and actually I ended up being quite surprised with the results- SEE!

I did expect to get home, look at the photos and hate them. No offence to Jay here, he's becoming quite the photographer. I can see how much he enjoys it sometimes, bless him. Even if I do drag him out after work. 
Actually I ended up quite liking these photos hence them being in this post. Its something a bit different and change is as good as any right?

So finally onto the outfit I am a huge sucker for a slogan tee and don't think I will stop buying them anytime soon. This San Francisco T-shirt* from Romwe I love, I picked it because I knew it would be easy to style. I'm loving a bit of yellow at the moment and as the weather is getting that bit colder wearing sheer sleeves underneath is a perfect transitional piece. Well I've started doing this now so I'm not going to lie I will be doing it all A/W season. I LOVE layering. 


Photography by my babe: Jay 
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1 comment

  1. I LOVED how fashion editorial - esque these images are! You've done an amazing job and it shows how much effort goes into your instagram and blog. Amazing post xxx Imogen


    www.imogenrose.co.uk

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