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Wednesday, 13 February 2019

It's the week of love so, here's some things I've currently been loving



Love is in the air, every sight and every sound. Everywhere I look around and all that. Yep, valentines day is just around the corner which if we are being precise here, is tomorrow. Instead of writing a piece this year about love, romance or relationships I decided to just speak about the things I've been loving just lately, as its a post I've been writing every now and again for a while. I thought what better week to do it than the week where ultimately love is in the air. 
I am planning to do a post nearer to mine and Jays anniversary related to love and our relationship- (really it's not as cringe as it sounds.) but it's something I want to take my time over writing so I thought I'd hold off with that until then. 

But now for this post like I mentioned I just wanted to have a bit of a chit chat about a few things I've been watching, reading, listening to and things I wanted to share with you guys, so that it's something you can love too (if you like).


Foals // Exits 

This is the year for new music mark. my. words. And certainly, something I'd proclaim more given the return of my forever favourite band- Foals. If you haven’t listened yet to exits I insist you go and do it now even if that means you stop reading this- though please do come back.
I feel like with every return Foals make they bring something new to the table. Though somehow managing to stay similar in some aspects and still stay true to their roots. Me and Jay have actually booked tickets to see them in June which I can’t wait for but until then I’ll be awaiting their new music.


Current monthly favourites playlists 

About 3 months ago now I curated a monthly playlist of my current favourites on Spotify, which I now put together monthly. Most months are a mix of new releases I’m loving or could be an oldie that I’ve revisited and decide to pop in there. I also do some special editions- though I make that sound special, they are more the ones I tailor to festivities or occasions. Much like I’m planning to do for the big V-Day. You can pop on over and have a listen here 



Sex Education 

I can't even begin to put into words how much I utterly and completely adored watching Sex Education (as strange as that sentence sounds) it really has been the surprise series of the year for me- I’m saying that in February but watching the trailer in the lead up to its release I was certain I’d be one I would avoid. However, I heard so much talk about the series and how incredible it was so I decided to give it a go and honestly half way through episode two I was hooked.
The characters, Otis, Eric, Maeve and of course a special mention to Jean honestly make this series.
 I cried, I laughed (hysterically) and cringed hard. From the topics, the issues covered, the clothes, the love letter to Americanisms are all a collection of things you will love about this series. Even if you are unsure give it a go, I’d recommend it to everyone who’d allow me to right now to be completely honest. 

Pure 

Much like Sex education I watched the trailer for this and thought meh I’ll take it or leave it but actually, this one surprised me. The first episode is in your face with Marines intrusive thoughts which are in a nutshell, her sexual thoughts or intrusions but once you get past that and understand why they are there this series has a lot to learn from it.
Touching on subjects like depression, love lives, work and friendships. I found myself cringing at some episodes and almost crying at others. The series is really quite an emotional rollercoaster even if it is just 6 episodes. 
Also, I found myself developing a little crush on Joe Cole whos in it (Peaky Blinders/Skins) 
Give it a go and see what you think.



Podcasts 

Something else I wanted to get into this year was podcasts. I touched on them last year whilst realising I didn’t really fancy listening to music nor sitting in silence so went for a browse on the podcast section on Spotify. Alas I opted for a Riverdale podcast called Dial M for Maple but sort of dropped it once I also kinda gave up on Riverdale (I’m so behind on it, yet can’t seem to make myself watch it atm) anyway I wanted to get into podcasts more about life, careers, mental health, blogging that kind of thing and actually randomly ended up stumbling upon an Instagram post for a podcast ran by Alyss Bowen and Lotte Williams called We are Offline. Immediately it appealed to me for its entire theme but listening in on one of their most recent episodes 'The Truth behind dressing for Instagram' with the beautiful Megan Ellaby I was hooked and decided to listen to them all in one night. It’s the perfect podcast for Instagram/ online addicts (myself included) I think its something we can all admit to. It’s incredibly relatable- at least for me, I found myself going YES I do that alll the time.
One of the episodes also worth a note is 'The Truth behind Comparision' whereby they speak to guest and comparison specialist Lucy Sheridan where she gives some really great tips on how to deal with comparison. One thing she mentioned which I loved was a tip about scrolling, on whether that be Instagram/facebook/twitter in the mornings, she speaks about reclaiming mornings for yourself and taking time for yourself before picking up your phone- which of course is harder said than done but honestly they have some fabulous and insightful guests even at 6 full-length episodes in. So I'm super excited to hear more from them. 

Another podcast I’ve been wanting to get round to listening to is That Millennial Girl created by the lovely Abigail from Blush and Noise. Who is not only is super lovely but also has an accent I adore, and I mean what’s not to love about that when it comes to podcasts?? This podcast she and her guests talk careers, millennial problems, blogging and general life problems. For me, it's another podcast I really relate to, the first episode especially whereby Abigail and Sophie Rosie chat about finding a job and give some really insightful advice about applying for jobs and changing jobs. For me with my current life/job situation its really reassuring to hear people going through, or having gone through the same things. Both podcasts are really just perfect for putting on whilst you potter around the house, or like me fancy having something to listen to whilst editing.



Investigating conspiracies with Shane Dawson’s 

I became hooked on Shane Dawson’s videos towards the end of last year after watching the mind of Jake Paul and from then I’ve really admired the content both him and his cameraman Andrew create. I think most reading will know who he is and what this series is about but for those who don’t this series is about a variety of stories and conspiracies on various topics which if that’s your kind of thing you should definitely have a watch off. He previously did a number of conspiracy videos but this documentary opens up the opportunity to dive deeper into them and sort of explore more avenues. 
I do warn that it is quite triggering in parts, the first episode of this series had me not only questioning everything but actually really scared me, honestly. But what is really cleverly done within it is the editing and the final build-up of it all especially the second episode, you'll see what I mean if you give it a watch.  

A coloured eye

In which I mean eyeshadow not the colour of your eyes. 
I received the Crayola palette for Christmas which I’ll be honest I was a little apprehensive to use as I’m usually one to shy away from colours. I usually opt for 50 shades of browns on my eyes but since going blonde it’s allowed me to be more creative. I’ve been loving a good blue and like you can see in this post lilac. I think it really just adds that pop of colour to your outfit or just warms the face in a way. But also it’s perfect for the long-awaited arrival of spring.

Which whilst we are on the subject of brings me to this divine jumper that Jay actually bought me for Christmas (not gifted) from Nobody's Child. I've been really into lilac as of late again a colour that I never would have worn when I was ginger and this one is so cosy, I love the almost bubble-like sleeves and high neck on it, perfect for this sort of in-between weather at the moment.



Bags

I have been lusting over so many bags over the past few months. Granted I haven't bought any, but I have been lucky enough to receive them as gifts at christmas. This one in this post Jay bought for my graduation which I just utterly adore. It's so classy and adds a little playful element to an outfit. It kinda makes me want to go for some cocktails and dress up with it.

I've also been lusting after a few bags I thought I'd link here (affiliate links) the first one being this Cow Print Bag which I just think is bloody fab, I love how tiny it is, I'm really into tiny impractical bags at the moment very 2000. And also this  Faux Croc Asymmetric Saddle Bag which looks very much like a Dior Dupe though I love it because of its Croc-like texture and unusual shape. And finally, I've been lusting after getting a beaded bag for SO long because I mean look at this Beaded Tote Bag how cute??

Bloggers 

Last but not least I wanted to name drop a few bloggers/instagramers that I'm currently loving because honestly, it's something I don't do often enough. There are always people who's feeds I'm scrolling through or people who just pop up on my Instagram that I adore but I don't shout about and like I said being the week of love I'd say it's about time to do that. They are all beautiful creatives who definitely deserve a stop by on their Instagram/blog. So alas, I shall leave you with some links.

Megan- Megan Ellaby www.meganellaby.com
Peaches - @stylepeaches www.stylepeaches.co.uk
Caitlin-  @caitlinporter_x www.gloriouschic.com
Alice - @alicecatherine www.alicecatherine.com
Lotta- @lottaliinalove 
Izzy- @izzycarmeliarose

Hope you all have a wonderful Valentines Day however you choose to spend it.





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Friday, 25 January 2019

That's it, I'm calling time on caring so much about fitting in



I've always been a loner of sorts something that I guess I haven't really admitted to much, until now which is for a number of reasons.
 a) being who really wants to admit to 'being a loner' and 'not fitting in'
b) the fact that I have been in denial for a long time thinking that fitting in is the be and end all, which can be, unfortunately, the case in some circumstances.
and c) thinking that I do indeed fit in places where I quite simply don't.
All of which may sound like I'm being harsh on myself- I can image Jay reading this going 'babe why'd you put yourself down like that?" but honestly I think I can finally admit to myself that being a loner is okay, not fitting in is okay. It really isn't the be and end all, perhaps I never will find a place I fit in and that's okay too.


Don't get me wrong I have friends now, supportive wonderful friends that always have my back and I know that if I need them they will be there and vice-versa.
The same through school, I've always had small, close-knit type friendships. But during that time like every other adolescent, I tried to fit in, in school. Hell, who doesn't? Some days it felt like without it, I'd be n-o-t-h-i-n-g. Not short of something my 14-year-old self would write in my diary after a shit day at school. I remember sitting in a music lesson once at school and being asked to sit with 'the populars' to which I reluctantly obliged when I caught sight of another boy who as a matter of fact tried painfully to be 'one of them' throughout our time at school. Watching me move to sit next to them it was almost like you could see the strain in his face like those around him, longing to have that security of belonging or acceptance to fit in.

But why?

Looking back now, I realise that I never was going to fit in, I never was going be into the same things as my classmates. Still, now I don't have everything in common with my friends because let's be real, we are all individual human beings and what kind of friendship would it be if you were exactly like them. But for a while, I tried to be just like my friends.


 I had a group of 'friends'- if you put the term loosely at school that as we all began to grow up, as expected our tastes changed which thankfully for the good meant, mine did too. Much to the overriding realisation that they were in fact, toxic but hey that's another topic for another time.

 I went through a time where I listened to shit music with them, which again I'm not disputing is part of your regrettable teenage years. But sometimes I found myself listening to things that I know at the time I didn't like. Or pretending I liked a film, or something on the telly just to fit in. I'm not saying that time of friendship (again loosely) was built on lies because occasionally I did enjoy the same things as them, but I felt like by being left out of the things the majority of people liked meant in some way I wasn't normal, or I wasn't 'one of them'.

Now I'm thankful to say I wasn't like them or, am not like them now. Looking back most of the decisions I made to fit in makes me wish back then I'd have held my middle finger up and walked off into the distance with 'go your own way' playing as though it was a scene from a film- given that this was a high school teen movie, but alas life doesn't work that way. Nor, did I befriend the popular girls or boys at school and find out I was, in fact, meant to be a mean girl all along 
(I did eventually break away with the friends I did like so it's not all bad endings) 



So I guess getting into this whole blogosphere during school gave me a sense of belonging for a while, a group of people on the same journey, with the same style- well that is if we're referring to circa 2009 which seemed to be the case looking back to that time whilst doing the #10yearchallange (why did we all put belts round everything and have side fringes??) but it came apparent that actually, we are all different in blogging, just because we have a blog it doesn't make us 'the same' we have a mutual interest or job, yes. But our tastes differ, our opinions and topics we choose to write about differ. It's only natural Which is actually one of the most exciting things about the blogging industry or shall I say influencer industry if blogging is supposed to bdying.

So you are probably thinking so what's your beef then girl? This was all so long ago you may ask. But the same still applies now which, as a matter of fact, isn't really beef more of an observation or opinion if you will thats been cropping up quite a bit just lately and writing this post really just gives me piece of mind. 


Just lately scrolling on Instagram through a mass of perfectly edited, warm-toned, blurred-background-style photos it dawned on me once again that, I don't embody that style or that same kind of content and honestly I don't think I ever will. The amount posed outfit photos wearing that silky midi skirt from Topshop adorned over my feed over the past few months with the combination of 'styling videos' making an influx onto Instagram too made me question if I should be wearing those said clothes or creating those videos too? 
It's not the first time either, I think as a blogger or even as a reader of blogs you could quite easily wave your hand in the air and say I've been subjected to buying an item because a blogger made me do it (not physically obvs) just mean girls style. When now that said item sits at the back of your wardrobe wondering how it made it's way there in the first place. I guess it's a different topic in itself coming into the realms of peer pressure and temptation but I'm more referring to even considering buying the item just to fit in and be like everyone else. I even thought about giving in the other day and buying the silky midi skirt ( even though I'm on a spending ban right now) to which I had to stop myself and say wait, that's not me. (I didn't break into the Wiley song but just so you know it's stuck in my head now) Why should I even be asking myself that question when I know in my heart it's not right. Like the saying goes 'it doesn't matter about what others are doing it matters what you are doing' It's important to do just that, if you feel like you should do something that hadn't crossed your mind to do before everyone else started doing it, then don't.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is sometimes blogging, influencers and within the Instagram world it feels a lot of the time like an inclusive club you can't be a part of unless you all relatably have or do the same things but really it's not important to be a part of it at all. Something I continually must tell myself. Not to throw shade on anyone at all because honestly there are some fabulous creators out there but when you break away from the general stereotypical, Regent-street, dewy, golden hour shots you begin to realise that there are a lot of people who aren't like that or don't try to be like that. It's okay if you are like that but what I'm really trying to say is just don't be something you're not, just to fit in.

I know that there will be those that are reading this post (hi if you've made it this far) that have struggled to fit in FAR more than I have. I'm not disputing that because as far as that goes I'm barely a drop in the ocean. This post was more something that I wanted to say to myself, a piece of mind, something I wanted to get off my chest. Something I can read on days where fitting in does feel heavy. Let this be a reminder that one day you will find a place in all of this, somewhere you truly feel you belong. Or on the other hand you may not, you might be searching your whole life, but do you know what? That is A-okay to admit to. I know I'm still searching now.


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